New Ford Super Duties Made For Wimps

?New Ford Super Duties Made For Wimps

The end of the world is near. The first sign was the influx of the “”sensitive man.”” Then came the man-purse. Recently, male skin-care products, MANicures, and male waxing have cut through the testosterone and invaded into a world once dominated by football and spitting.

The 2008 Ford Super Duties are TOO comfortable.

A diesel is supposed to roar. You should hear it (and smell it) well before you can see it. The new 6.4L diesel is quieter than a 1985 Honda Civic engine. Ford says they tested it for 10,000,000 miles. They say it has more horsepower and torque than its predecessor. But if you can’t hear it (and smell it) I find it hard to believe it would pull a 12 ton 5th-wheel.

They added a tailgate step. What were they thinking? Real men climb up into the bed, then jump down from 8 feet if necessary (onto glass and barefoot, of course). Those who need a step to get into the bed should be driving a gas powered import compact truck, not a Ford SuperDuty.

MP3 capable? Dual-zone temperature control? DVD entertainment system?!?!? What kind of Ford truck owner wants his kids to watch Spongebob in his truck?

There is no place to put a thermos or to snub out cigars. These have been replaced by cupholders made for Starbucks cups and a place to put an iPod. The last I checked, Ford truck owners didn’t need any kinds of pods, especially iPods.

The adjustment of the center console is terrible. It is now made to hold a laptop. If there’s a laptop, where would anyone put their cassettes?

The biggest insult to manhood, though, is the huge DVD-based Navigation system. Real men who drive real trucks never get lost and never need directions. Just having the directions there with some voice telling you where to go is enough reason to go retro.

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